I had a giant stack of papers to grade today, so after I dropped Tink off at school, I headed to my local grading location aka Starbucks and set up shop.
I made it through 4 papers before I realized I was going to require some outside motivation to stay focused. Here is the deal I made with myself. Every 4 papers I graded, I got to put a mustache on someone.
You see, I have this app for my iPhone called Stachetastic and it allows you to put mustaches on photos. I have entirely too much fun with it.
I graded a lot of papers today, so I got to put a lot of mustaches on my unfortunate friends and family.
I’ll bet you didn’t know I used to date Karem Abdul Jabbar?
Sadly, it didn’t work out between us. I think because my ‘stache was lacking. He later found himself a lovely mustachioed lady and they had a beautiful baby who has inherited his parent’s superior ‘stache genes.
My sister is settling into married life quite nicely. I’m a little surprised about how quickly she let herself go, though. I mean, she’s really letting Gump see exactly who he married.
Of course, he seems to have changed a bit since the ceremony himself. I believe he had decided to fufill a lifelong dream and audition for Motely Crue.
Ace has a new look these days. We’re having trouble with personal grooming. I understand this is fairly typical for a tween boy. He’s not very interested in showering or changing his clothes. I’m afraid he’s just let that extend to his shaving habits as well.
Of course, I have to admit that it runs in the family.
(Honestly, that picture just scares me.)
IT Guy was hard to ‘stache because he already has so much facial hair. I had to branch out for him . . . . into mullets!
Then my friend, James, actually requested I give him a mullet . . . . but in my artistic opinion, he’s more a glam rock kind of a guy.
(IT Guy, James and Gump look like they are all in the same band.)
Things were getting a little out of hand, I have to admit. I mean, what kind of mother puts a mullet on her 7-year-old?
Oh, right, this kind.
Honestly, no one was safe today.
Not even the dog.
Did I mention I can do 80s hair also?
I’m not sure that’s a fair one because I actually had hair close to that at one point in my life. Poor Tink. A mullet and a mustache all in one day. She is not amused with me.
I am amused with me though.
Hey, Mom! I’ve had too much fun!
I’m pretty sure I’ve had too much fun.
So here’s the best part of this entire ridiculous story. I just randomly decided to start slapping mustaches on people and texting them the pictures. I did GenieAlisa and her son, Ian, first. Then I decided to ‘stache her husband, Puckeater. I afro’ed him up, giggling hysterically the entire time, much to the alarm of all the other Starbucks patrons who were all watching the weird lady behind a stack of student essays at the corner table cackling quietly all by herself. I texted him the picture and then he texted me a picture right back. A picture of him, right now, today, sporting a real deal ‘stache.
Isn’t he looking very fine and Tom Selleck-like?
Puckeater informed me that is it Movember and men around the world are growing mustaches this month to raise awareness and funds for men’s health issues like prostate cancer. I had NO idea my insanity was so topical! So we can pretend that all of my ‘staching was really just a way to raise awareness for Movember . . .you know, instead of what it really was . . . that I’m punchy and tired and, therefore, amusing myself in increasingly stupid ways. This is why I don’t drink or do recreational drugs, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t need any help to act like a loon.
Happy Movember, Everyone! Get your ‘stache on! (Or send me a picture and I’ll get your ‘stache on for you.)